Quality time for one
How one weekend changed my perspective on my kids
Last weekend, I was all by myself, home alone — not forgotten, but intentionally. My wife was enjoying a weekend away with her daughter, my stepdaughter. They had a great time in Rotterdam, sightseeing, shopping, wining and dining, and going out together.
I don’t mind being alone for a while. I actually quite like it. It gives me plenty of room to work on my own stuff and to be super flexible in my planning. So, it was a win-win situation for all of us.
I think we all agree that it’s crucial to spend quality time with our children. For me, that meant being home for dinner and bringing my kids to bed when they were young. They were attending primary school, and I was still married to their mother. We typically planned family outings on the weekends, as many families do.
When you are on a trip as a family with young kids, the dynamics can be pretty intense, and you always have to divide your attention. That’s why we came up with the idea of spending time with the kids individually. Now and again, one of us would take one of the kids out for a morning or an afternoon on the weekend.
Of course, they would have a say in the planning to make sure it was fun: going to a playground, feeding animals, visiting a museum, walking in the woods, playing a sport, or going on a picnic. It doesn’t need to be fancy to be enjoyable. The important part is to spend time together 1:1 and experience the interaction between parent and child without any other interference. These little trips were always fun.
The best and most interesting experience was a weekend at a campsite in the summer. My daughter stayed over from Friday until Saturday, and my son joined me from Saturday until Sunday. All the circumstances were identical, but I had two totally distinct days because my kids have different personalities. For example, my daughter had drafted a program for the whole day, whereas my son only cared about the current activity. Thanks to this camping experience, I got to know them better, appreciating their individual uniqueness even more.
As my wife demonstrated last weekend, spending quality time with your kids doesn’t have to stop when they leave home. That holds for me too; I still enjoy spending time with my kids, together and individually. The next dinner date with my daughter is already planned, and I look forward to catching up with her again.
If you are a parent, how do you divide your time and attention in your family? Do you have any tips that others can benefit from? Thanks for sharing!
Take care and till next time!
Kind regards,
Herman / Scrumpy Dad
I help people find their purpose and stay loyal to their goals and values so they can create more happiness in their lives.
Please check out the Scrumpy Dad website for more information. Or join others and start immediately by getting your copy of A Scrum Master’s Guide to Happiness.
